Save Me!
by renderedmotionless
Summary: You cannot change the past. It is unchangeable. When you lose everything, the pain can be unbearable. songfic based on the incredible song "Dear X: You Don't Own Me" by the Disciples


Disclaimer: I do not own the incredible song "Dear X: You Don't Own Me" By the Disciples. (Sniffle, sniffle)

_Dear pain oh, its been a long time,_

_Remember when you were holding tight,_

_I would stay awake with you all night…_

I lay in my bed unmoving, as the pain engulfed my in its sickly grip. I had lost everything and I was left to suffer through it.

The voice in my head kept torturing me with its words. I believed it. I couldn't bear it, I had to end this.

_Dear shame I was safe in your arms,_

_You were there when it all fell apart,_

_I would get so last in your beautiful lies._

It was all my fault, they said. You're the one who caused this, they said. I believed them. They were part of my life now; I lived in the shame that held me captive. The pain was growing worse and more unbearable. I couldn't even bring my self to tears at the thought of this. It has to go away someone out there I need your help.

_Dear hate, I know your not far,_

_You would wait at the door of my heart,_

_I was amazed at the passion in your cries._

I hated myself. I knew I had caused this. Such a wretched, wretched soul you are! Pitiful, I can do so much to you and you slowly turn to me. Muahahahahaha! I will rule all! Stupid voices, Hate filled what was left of my soul, unbearable, indescribable pain, The shame telling me its all my fault. I believed them.

_Dear anger, you made me so high,_

_You were faithful to show up on time,_

_Such a flame that was burning in your eyes._

Anger. Horrid, wretched, absolutely downright vile anger. I couldn't handle it now I was in so much unbearable agony, I had to end it. The voices urged me onwards. And I believed them. I also remembered a story my mom had told me before she was brutally murdered. "There is a man who can save you. He want you to be his child, all you need to do is pray to him and he will answer." Pray, and he will answer. The words spun around in my head. I slowly got up and off of my bed and knelt on my floor hands high in full submission to God. " Lord please rescue me from this sea of pain, shame, hate, and anger! I have fallen victim to their schemes and I cannot handle this on my own! I fully give my life to you! Please give me power to fight off the demons of my life!

_Go ahead, you're never gonna take me,_

_You can bend but you're never gonna break me,_

_I was yours, but I'm not yours anymore,_

_Oh, you don't own me!_

_Go ahead, put a target on my forehead,_

_You can fire but you've got no bullet,_

_I was yours but I'm not yours anymore,_

_Oh, you don't own me!_

At that precise moment, I felt like a massive burden was lifted off of my shoulders. I smiled at how free I felt, clean even. I was no longer held captive to these wretched emotions. And, then I felt a pang of guilt, I did cause this, I did kill them, I am responsible. I was being pulled in multiple directions. It seemed that they were all coming back. Pain, shame, hate, and anger. I was not going to let them ruin my life again. I pulled away as hard as I could and fell on my knees in near submission to the hoard of emotions. I cried out to God "Lord! I need you I am trying but they won't let go! I submit to your authority! Control my life!_" _The pain was lifted and I praised The Lord for a short while until a gunshot echoed in the distance. I fell to the floor my blood seeping out through a bullet hole in my chest. Dead.

_You tempted me to look back,_

_And everything we had together was a lie_

_Go ahead, you're never gonna take me,_

_You can bend but you're never gonna break me,_

_I was yours, but I'm not yours anymore,_

_Oh, you don't own me!_

_Go ahead put a target on my forehead,_

_You can fire but you've got no bullet,_

_I was yours, but I'm not yours anymore,_

_Oh, you don't own me!_

I looked down from Heaven that day, surrounded by my family.

I spread my wings and flew down to the Fathers throne.

Guarding my eyes with my wings, I knelt before him and thanked him.

"Thank-you lord for everything! O, great and holy Father! You have freed my from my emotional prison. For that I eternally thank you!"

"You're welcome my dear child" You submitted to my authority and let the emotions go. And because of that, you are now pain, shame, hate, and anger free!"

_Oh! You don't own me!_


End file.
